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An informal, stream-of-consciousness reflection on business ideas, events and issues in modern business, modern life and with some specifics to the web-software industry by Paul Tomori, Internet Entrepreneur

Choose Your Battles
By Paul Tomori
Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 14:04:17 (EDT)

I have not seen a relationship yet where small complaints do not exist. The question is what do you do about the grievances? Certainly, some things must be addressed if only to make things "right" in your universe (i.e. to get it off your chest). Definitely, some lapses by some people in your life need to be expressed head-on, but hopefully with some tact. By expressing your discontent about something, you feel like you are taking action to mitigate it from happening again. However, by expressing absolutely EVERYTHING or by expressing a grievance about some distantly past event... or by repeating complaints that have already been expressed... That takes it too far. All that does is cultivate defensiveness and a bit of resentment in return. Contemplating someone's offence against you also churns up the acid in your own stomach that might only be relieved by a poisoned-pen missive... or a barrage of statements that even you will think to be ridiculous afterward. Remember, the person you are harbouring a complaint about may actually have complaints against you that will be dredged up by your verbalizations. Also, that person may have already done things to remedy the very nature of your complaint... in a silent way. Little niceties... Big niceties... You may be blinded to those niceties by your own vitriol about an unresolved grievance.

Suggestion: let it go... let it all go... free the complainant from your acid tongue... free yourself from the ongoing resentment. Take a deep breath... Revel in the good things and good people in your life. Count the virtues of that other person... not their shortcomings. "Choose" to be happy.

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